Leg Post 93
Leg Post 93 opens with a reference to the fall of the previous Hands of the NeS in NeS2 Post ?. The two new Hands of the NeS have arrived at the l33t, the dimension belonging to the previous hands, which the new Hands have renovated. A façade of a store front hangs in the void with the sign "IDK" written upon it. The new Hands are revealed to be Gebohq Simon, who was once the Main Character for both NeS1 and part of NeS2, and his doppelgänger, known as Evil G, from an alternate reality. Gebohq Simon is confused over the intended meaning of IDK, which Evil G reveals as "I Don't Know", but Gebohq constantly thinks Evil G is pretending not to know and keeps coming up with alternate meanings for the abbreviation. Their new set-up has an eclectic design that tries so hard to have flair but looks a little tacky. It is crammed with various baked goods from across the Earth and beyond. Gebohq reports that his wife, Rachel Pi, has been making a career making videos on the internet, which allows her to spend more time at home with their son Karma. When Evil G asks why the boy isn't called Gebswoq, as originally intended, Gebohq doesn't want to talk about it. Evil G retorts that his own wife, Young, has been selling hand-crafted items on the internet and that his own son, Chance, has been kicking him and he wishes he could kick the baby off a cliff. They criticise each others former jobs, Evil G once being a pizza delivery guy and Gebohq teaching law students about underwater basket weaving, and settled down to watch the television, which displays posts from Never-ending Story 3-D. They see Losien Simon, the sister of the two Gebohq's, as the Main Character open a singing duet with the villain, Chris the Bad Guy, from NeS3 Post 32. Gebohq wonders if they should step in but Evil G can't be bothered and wants to sit back and watch. Gebohq confesses, he still doesn't know what the IDK stands for, though his last attempt was "I Donut Know". Post IDK As another thread of the Never-ending Story weaves on into a third dimension, softly resetting itself after the weight of Plot had nearly brought it down once again, there stands two new guardians ready to watch and lend a hand. These guardians are, in fact, known as the Hands of NeS, and they are tasked with handling the balance of conflict within the story, pushing for conflict when there is not enough, pulling for order when conflict threatens to be too much, and throwing themselves to serve and protect the story whenever its needed. Their predecessors fell in the prior thread, and their meeting place, known once as 1337, fell into ruins as well, so the new Hands of NeS took it upon themselves to renovate the realm. The two now stand as silhouettes before its new, brightly-lit entrance. Silhouette #1: "A bit bright, isn't it?" Silhouette #2: "Don't ruin the moment, G." Adjusting for the light, the entrance now more apparently shows itself as an open doorway, with its wooden door swung inwards. The doorway, however, doesn't seem connected to to any sort of wall, and the ground itself seems to be more of a suggestion than a reality, leaving the figures still standing in something of a void. A frosted store-front window hangs in the middle of the air next to the door, blocking most of the view beyond it, and only a few random sections of brick facade and dark wood beams exist, apparently floating in thin air as well, to provide the impression of a building. Only hints of a night sky and shadows of streets provide any other context in this otherwise surreal setting. An old-fashioned, dark green sign hangs above the door with "IDK" written in clear, white text on it. The first figure that had been silhouetted leans his weight to one leg in a cocksure fashion. At a glance, he comes off like a white guy street punk that hasn't caught up with the times, wearing a denim jacket over an autumn-colored flannel shirt mostly covering a black T-shirt, faded and torn jeans that had once been black, and a pair of classic Converse All-StarChuck Taylor All-Stars article, Wikipedia. sneakers. His hair, matching the fall tones of the flannel, run untamed down to his shoulders, and styled in a fashion resembling Kevin Bacon'sKevin Bacon article, Wikipedia. hair from the movie "Tremors"Tremors (film) article, Wikipedia. or perhaps Hayden Christensen'sHayden Christensen article, Wikipedia. from the Star Wars prequelsStar Wars Prequel Trilogy article, Wikipedia. nobody seems to like. He snaps and points a finger in a trigger fashion at the other, winking with his left, discolored eye. Silhouette #1/"G": "That's Evil G, Geb, and I live to ruin moments." The other figure, at a glance, seems to be an identical twin brother, though his demeanor and attire clash with Evil G's like night and day. This man, Gebohq, wore an orange cardigan over a white-collared shirt and a blue tie with neat, black dress slacks that easily gave the impression of a young Mr. RogersFred Rogers article, Wikipedia. on his old children's TV showMister Roger's Neighborhood article, Wikipedia.. Unlike Evil G, this guy's hair had been cut much shorter, resembling perhaps Mark Hamill'sMark Hamill article, Wikipedia. hair in the Star WarsStar Wars Trilogy article, Wikipedia. movies everyone seems to like, and his face also bears a light, trim beard. The pair of dark VanVans article, Wikipedia. shoes are the only sign that he might share some similar personality with Evil G. He stands with his hands on his hips in response to Evil G. Gebohq: "Well nothing will ruin what's to come. After what seems like forever, we finally have built before us on the ruins of 1337 what is possibly the most perfect place to exist!" Evil G: "Amen to that!" The two lean to either side of the window and catch a glimpse of displays full of baked goods, including a vast array of doughnuts. Gebohq / Evil G: "Mmm... doughnuts..." A moment passes as the two are lost in their own sugar-filled fantasies before self-consciousness over each other snaps them back to sobriety. Gebohq: "I'm still trying to figure out what "IDK" stands for." Evil G: "I don't know." Gebohq: "You're the one who picked out the name! What name did you give it?" Evil G: "I don't know." Gebohq: "Look, I know we're supposed to be at odds with each other, but you don't need to be a pain about this. Just tell me." Evil G: "I... don't... know." Gebohq: "Does it stand for Interdimensional Doughnut Kiosk?" Evil G: "I don't know!" Gebohq: "Maybe something fancy and epic like, uh... Intermediary Deliberation Keep!" Evil G: "Listen to me -- I don't know." Gebohq: "...Infinite Diabetic Killzone?" Evil G: "I DON'T KNOW!" Gebohq: "Fine, keep your secrets then. I'm going to go inside." Evil G: "Idiot..." The two walk through the door, Evil G following after Gebohq. The inside, while still filled with strange gaps in the walls, floor, and ceiling to see out into nothingness, seems to contradict what was visible outside in that it seems more "complete" in its structure. The floor spreads out in a tile design, and while some spots still expose the black-and-white checkerboard look once spread throughout 1337, many of them now have a more marbled appearance to them. Hugging the back and one of the sides, counter space blocks the space between customer and workers, though at this time at least, nobody but the two Hands are present. The counters themselves are lined with glass cases and plates of confections and other baked goods seen before, but now in full detail: delicious dutchiesDutchie (doughnut) article, Wikipedia., stacks of stack of mekitsiMekitsa article, Wikipedia., beaver tailsBeaverTails article, Wikipedia., crullersCruller article, Wikipedia., maple barsMaple Bar article, Wikipedia., ox-tongue pastryOx-tongue pastry article, Wikipedia., kroštuleKroštule article, Wikipedia. , BerlinersBerliner (doughnut) article, Wikipedia., gulab jamunGulab Jamun article, Wikipedia., Boston cremesBoston Cream Pie article, Wikipedia.... the list goes on, some dishes even seemingly otherworldly. While the view of what was presumably the kitchen behind the counters were blocked off by a wall, the rest of the cozy space dots itself with various styles off furniture, some more kitsch and antique with others more matching an IKEAIKEA article, Wikipedia. set, broken by a wooden beam of a pillar here and there. Some of the walls decorate themselves with an equally eclectic mix of books on shelves as well as decorations with no particular rhyme or reason other than to give the space "character" though it thankfully stops short of looking like "flair" from an Applebee'sApplebee's article, Wikipedia. or T.G.I.F.TGI Fridays article, Wikipedia. restaurant. Gebohq: "After you, good sir." To add to the mock politeness, Gebohq bends over by his waist and sweeps his one hand to the counter. Evil G sticks his tongue out and mocks a curtsy before grabbing a nearby plate and piling it with his selections, with Gebohq following suit. Evil G: "So how's the wife and kid?" Gebohq: "Rachel's taken up making video reviews though the Internet, which hasn't been easy, but she seems to love it, and it lets her be at home more with Karma." Evil G: "I thought the kid was going to be named Gebswoq." Gebohq: "Best not to talk about it. What about you?" Evil G: "Oh, you know, Young's still selling her crochet projects off EtsyEtsy article, Wikipedia., which seem to be popular after people found out she made a hat for that rat guy on Hero Force, and Chance is still kickin'. Literally. He kicked me again this morning. If I didn't like the ankle-biter so much, I'd kick him right off a cliff." Gebohq: "I can feel the love." Evil G: "Hey, at least I didn't kick a puppy!" Gebohq: "That was one time! And we both did that, before you became an alternate me from a broken spun-off reality." Evil G: "More like before YOU became and alternate ME from a lame, boring reality!" Gebohq: "Still delivering pizzas to adolescent monsters living in sewers in under a half hour?" Evil G: "I don't know -- still teaching law students about the finer points of underwater basket weaving?" Gebohq: "I'll have you know that-- oh hey! I just got it!" Evil G: "Got what?" Gebohq: "The name of this place! 'I Donut Know'... eh?" Silence follows as Evil G just stares with cold, still eyes. Evil G: "I hate you." Gebohq: "I love you too." Pivoting in place to better ignore him, Evil G takes his plate and takes a seat in a futuristic looking office chair meant for some powerful CEO. Gebohq, in turns, takes a seat alongside in a leather recliner old with decades of use. With one hand, Gebohq chows down on a doughnut in the shape of an ouroboros, and with the other, he picks up a TV remote and points it at the flat-screen TV in front of them. Gebohq: "We should probably see how NeS is doing right now." Waving a confection in the shape of an endless knot at Gebohq, Evil G responds with a full mouth. Evil G: "I hophe Luu-fee-en ef doin' uh-ight." Gebohq: "I'm sure my sister, Losien, is doing just fine. I just hope she and any of the other heroes aren't trashing that Chris guy too hard." Evil G: "Who?" Gebohq: "Chris the Bad Guy. He got introduced as Losien's antagonist at the end of the last thread." Evil G: "Is that really his name? Sounds like he's a try-hard." Gebohq: "OK, "Evil G" -- whatever you say." With a push of a button, Gebohq turns the TV on to show Losien and Chris the Bad Guy singing 'Somewhere Out There'. Gebohq and Evil G both stare dumbfounded before Evil G breaks the silence. Evil G: "Ha! Classic NeS!" Gebohq: "Not much of a scene though." Evil G: "It's just like the good ol' days of NeS! Full of pointless absurdity and pop culture references! Though I have to wonder if that's the guy's actual singing voice. I'm not convinced it isn't dubbed." Gebohq: "We can't be stuck in the past forever, you know. That's why NeS got soft-rebooted, after all. I wonder if we need to step in and bring a little more order for anyone new getting involved--" Evil G: "--like hell we don't! I'm not going to waltz in every time somebody coughs. Make the writers do their damn jobs!" Gebohq: "I suppose we should wait and watch for now..." Evil G: "And riff!" Gebohq: "...but seriously, I have to know. What does 'IDK' stand for?" Evil G sighs. Notes Britt's Commentary "Gebohq kicking a puppy happened in NeS??. " ~ Britt the Writer References External References Category:Post Category:Leg Post